


The rain pours even when I dance alone...

by Skz6_1306



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Not K-Pop Idols, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Han Jisung | Han-centric, How Do I Tag, I Don't Even Know, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Not Beta Read, Sad, Song Lyrics, Song: Still With You (Jeon Jungkook), There's A Tag For That
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-17 14:00:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28975503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skz6_1306/pseuds/Skz6_1306
Summary: When Jisung and Seungmin meet in rain again...
Relationships: Bang Chan/Seo Changbin, Han Jisung | Han/Kim Seungmin, Hwang Hyunjin/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Kudos: 8





	The rain pours even when I dance alone...

**Author's Note:**

> Totally Han Jisung centric! Like there is seungmin's name only once. IF U REMOVE THE NAME KIM SEUNGMIN WHICH IS ONLY MENTIONED ONCE YOU CAN READ IT AS MINSUNG, HYUNSUNG, CHANSUNG, BINSUNG, JEONGSUNG,JILIX HOWEVER YOU WANT!!! I tried my best! Kinda sad maybe angst. Also totally based on song still with you by Jeon Jungkook of BTS.  
> (I didn't knew it had a tag wow!)  
> You can even find lyrics at the end 😅 and after completing I thought it would be some 6k words but yeahh turned out only 3k words. Hope you all enjoy!
> 
> Didn't proofread so obviously mistakes, sorry for that! 😭
> 
> Also tw// cw// 
> 
> Mentions of drinking! Not really drinking but just mentions of it because it's in past.

"Thank you for today everyone! You all did a great job!"

Sighs and some cheers filled the silence in office after the sentence. It was Friday and most of the people usually would like to go home fast and enjoy their weekend, though it was not really the case at least they are going home on time instead of working overtime as they did these past few weeks. Office was cheerful, it was really kinda an unfamiliar sight, after working weeks of over time. Chatters, murmurs can be heard mostly from everyone planning on going home, or maybe hangout and some gossip here and there. 

Just in a few minutes almost half of the employees were already in the parking lot, and few were by elevator, few probably planning on hanging out at some club to get wasted, maybe Jisung was the only one still sitting at his desk. He was just staring at his computer as if it's the only thing he can look at. 

"Hey Jisung want to hangout? You know our usual place!" 

The voice of his co-worker makes Jisung break his staring contest with his computer. After politely refusing his co worker Mark, who just left with a shrug. Jisung took a look at time and started packing his things, also cleaning his desk. 

"I already told you he wouldn't come." 

"Well, maybe it was worth a try! He is fun to hangout man!" 

"Yeah, I heard he used to come everytime and also he was the one mostly planning all the hangouts, drinking the most, some also said he used to drink on weekdays too." 

"True, but we don't know one day he just stopped." 

Jisung ignored Mark and his friends, (maybe Sungjin was one of them) talking about him, even though he was right there and left in the elevator. Waiting for the elevator, Jisung can still hear Jihoon, the new intern excitedly talking to someone about the 'hang out' well mostly just asking questions, about how it is? And what will they do? Jisung very well knew the answer for these questions, go to a expensive club, have some stupid drinking competition and who ever loses will pay the bill. Well the winner will be too wasted to even realise that someone already paid from his wallet. And of course he wouldn't remember it, and asking his co-workers is just embarrassing,and Jisung had seen many people having bloody fights in office and there are still Wonpil and Taeyoung still shooting daggers at each other whenever they pass by. Jisung played too many of these hangouts, when he was an intern he won and his wallet did have a huge hole and he did got some deserved scolding for that from someone he doesn't want to remember now, but well when Jisung got promoted and him going to these hangouts was some kind of routine his alcohol tolerance is too big, that even he wins he would still be just tipsy. 

This routine did make Jisung so popular along with his office mates and everyone was good to him, but he knew he was the most gossiped person too for drinking every weekend till he got wasted and sometimes drinking on weekdays too. His coping mechanism **fake it till you make it,** he learned it from Jae, thought if Jae did it why can't he, but turns out he can't so he just stopped. And Jisung didn't really care, until he met Chan hyung and Chan hyung did knocked some sense into his brain and made him realise drinking to forget a pain is stupid because when alcohol is in his system the pain just increases. 

When pressing the button to the ground floor, his phone notified a message. Seeing the sender of the message, a small smile took place on Jisung's face. 

**Chan hyung** : 

Today also overtime?

**Me** : 

No done for today! 

**Chan hyung** : 

Greatt! 

Wanna hangout? 

We can watch movies at mine! 

Maybe a sleepover! 

Jisung read the messages once again, it wasn't something unusual or weird, it's just the word 'hang out' that caught him off guard. His brain realised that a word can have different meanings depending on different people and different situations. Hang out with Chan hyung in the beginning was something he was forced to do, because Chan hyung wanted to keep an eye on him and was so pressed on making alcohol and Jisung strangers, it wasn't possible but we'll at least Jisung just drinks twice in 3 months, better than before. So Jisung thinks meeting Chan hyung was some miraculous mistake, as they met because Jisung almost broke Chan's car window thinking it was his own and it was not opening by his key, don't blame him he was drunk hungover that time. But the most embarrassing part is Jisung doesn't even own a car. And surprisingly Chan was too chill about everything, after bonding over how office sucks and similar love towards music Chan and Jisung became great friends, making them a trio with Chan's boyfriend, Changbin who also works with Chan in the same office, the same building as Jisung's but on different floors. 

Meeting in parking lot because of the same office hours, they do hangout often at times. When the elevator doors opened, Jisung still didn't reply to Chan's message and directly went to their spot, where Chan's car is usually parked. And as expected both Chan and Changbin were waiting for him, talking about something Jisung doesn't care about because it's not his conversation. And Chan stops him too fast even before he gets near them and waves. Jisung just smiles and jogs towards them. 

"Hey!!" 

"Helllooo!" 

"So? Hangout?" 

"Movies at mine, let's have a sleepover! I think mine or Changbin clothes fit you well but if you want we can drop by your house!" 

"Or maybe we can just go for a drive!" 

"Well that's not a bad idea too!" 

And Jisung just stood there as the boyfriends excitedly talked about plans, Jisung did feel kinda bad and guilty as he wanted to reject but he did it anyway. 

"Nah! I'll pass! You guys go on a date or something! I'm too tired of third wheeling between you guys!" 

Also quickly added 

"Not like you guys make me feel left out! But just go on a date! And enjoy!" 

The smiles on the other two faces visibly dimmed, and Jisung also felt sad but they did deserve some time together. Jisung is always with them every weekend and every holiday, though they have weekdays Jisung knows they will be too tired to enjoy something like this. And Jisung is good today. He has no intention to touch alcohol or do something to make Chan hyung worry, so he gives them the best smile he can manage and promises Chan hyung that he wouldn't do anything to make him worry. 

"You sure?" 

"Yes! Now leave and enjoy your date!" 

"We can give you a ride home! How about that?" 

"Ahh yes you didn't bring Ara today!" 

Ara is his bike, it would be parked right beside Chan's car and today it's not here, so it's so obvious he didn't ride his bike today. Blame his bike, it didn't start today, who knows why, he needs to take it to a mechanic, maybe tomorrow. 

"I still don't understand why Ara. And who names their bike!" 

"Me! And it's my bike so my wish! And no thanks I'll just walk it's not far anyways!" 

"You sure?" 

"Yes yes hyung so sure! Now just leave!" 

And hugging them hurriedly Jisung ran away, because he knew Chan can be stubborn when he wants and though Changbin hyung says he is just supporting his boyfriend, Jisung knows he loves him too. 

Walking through a very familiar route, which he would just see on a bike, now he is taking his time enjoying the breeze, it's not as strong as when he rides a bike but he likes it. He can feel the temperature drop and looks at the sky darkening maybe due to is almost evening but mostly due to dark clouds, seems like it will rain today. Jisung didn't even walk quarter of the path but soon he got distracted by the good smell of the cafe. Craving cheesecake Jisung entered the cafe without any particular thoughts and ordered cake with some drink with no caffeine. Because albeit caffeine, ice americano being his favourite he tends to avoid them when not working, again some habit he likes to forge but not really. 

Sitting at some random seat, Jisung took out his phone and was scrolling through something just like any other customer who are alone, no one to talk to, not like Jisung cared but his timeline was full of Chan and Changbin flirting and also Minho and Hyunjin bickering, it's just their type of flirting, though both are already established they have these cheesy posts all over, Jisung just sighs. Thank god his order came fast. He stares at the cheesecake for a moment. 

**_"It's really great!!"_ **

**_"Not that good."_ **

**_"You don't believe me?"_ **

**_"Wait! That's not-"_ **

**_"You should give yourself credit, you know! You should reward yourself when you think you have done well! It can be anything! Not particularly when you did something, something simple like when you think you did good today or maybe when you washed Ara! Anything! Just treat yourself with some food or a small gift!"_ **

**_"So here! Your favourite cheesecake! Because you did great!"_ **

Jisung just laughs at the memory that resurfaces, he has that moment every time he rewards himself, because he made a promise and Jisung is glad he did because these small happiness is what keeps him going, the promise does feel so heavy and hard sometimes. His eyes stings, by how clearly his brain even provides the image of a boy with sparkling eyes, the brightest smile telling Jisung how he should put himself before everyone and how precious and important Jisung is, the stress in his voice so obviously shows how serious he is, and smile shows how much he loves and admires Jisung. 

Thanks to Minho, his flat neighbour living with his boyfriend Hyunjin, calling. Jisung swallows the lump in his throat despite having a sad and a probably painful memory Jisung had a smile on his face so people seeing from outside wouldn't really understand if he was happy or sad, maybe just feeling nostalgic.. 

Answering the phone, Jisung can hear the boyfriends are again bickering. 

"Hello?" 

"Hello Jiiii!" 

"Jisung!!" 

"Don't shout! both of you! What's wrong?" 

"Well nothing me and hyung on the vacation, which you not so politely rejected!" 

Jisung can totally hear the pout in Hyunjin's voice and also can imagine Minho hyung looking at him with so lovingly eyes, both are too whipped for each other. 

"Hmm! You guys are already there so enjoy! Bring me something I guess." 

"Hmph! You should've come!" 

"Don't miss us too much Jisungie! Are you done with work?" 

"Yes! And I'm on my way, I just stopped by for cheesecake! So sorry I couldn't send you guys off! And also Hyunjin just enjoy you time with your boyfriend and make all you stupid dreams come true!" 

"What dreams?" 

"Well hyung ask Hyunjin yourself I'm damn sure he is blushing! Byeee!! Take care!" 

And Jisung hung up, laughing to himself. He enjoyed his cheesecake watching some cat videos and completed his drink, scrolling through his watchlist thinking about which drama he should watch this weekend, Jisung stepped out. Cool wind hit his face, and Jisung knew it's gonna rain, something in his stomach churned and a small part of his brain was screaming but Jisung ignored both and started walking, he kept his phone in bag and pulled out rain cover of his bag, he can get soaked but not his bag so better safe than sorry. 

And obviously as expected the rain started, at first it was just some drizzling, so Jisung just walked but soon it started to pour so hard and Jisung would still walk if it wasn't for the rain droplets hitting his face with so much pressure it hurt, so Jisung just ran to the first shelter he saw, which was a bus stop. There weren't many people at first but being Friday and timing when most of the office workers go home, obviously there were many people on the road, since the rain became too hard just like Jisung many people also ran to the bus stop to shelter from the rain. Jisung stood at the corner, so some of the rain was still hitting him, in too crowded bus stop mostly probably everyone were strangers waiting for the rain to stop, there were some murmurs complaining about the rain, and some people trying to be friendly talking loudly because you can't hear over the loud sound of water hitting ground. 

Jisung was just observing his surroundings, he had nothing good to do anyway. He saw some people were going inside the bus stop to avoid rain, while some were standing near the corners and center so they could feel the rain and some were just forced to stand because there was no more space. And some random thoughts in his head. _So people at front, like rain? And people at back don't?_ Well Jisung doesn't know, mostly people at the front are there because they have no choice and people at back are there because they don't want to get soaked. 

_Do I like rain?_

Jisung likes rain? He doesn't know, For some rain is comfort and for some the sky is crying, and it can be comfort because the sky is crying. The helpless smile on his face says it all, people surrounding him obviously don't understand the meaning of the smile Jisung wears to answer his own thoughts but they don't question it. Jisung and rain have something special, Jisung doesn't particularly like rain, but there were days when he was so happy in rain, but also there were days when he hated rain, because it made his days worse. Now maybe Jisung is just numb to it, or maybe he is just trying his best to ignore everything. It was already so dark and rain was still pouring, just not as hard as before. 

  
  


Many people already left in heavy rain because it was becoming late, so there were only some people, an old couple sitting and talking, some young woman on phone probably informing her family, because Jisung can hear bits of her conversation, and two maybe college boys playing games on phone and Jisung himself. Since tomorrow is Saturday anyways Jisung decided to leave. His stomach was more upset than when he left the cafe, so thinking why his stomach was suddenly acting up, Jisung walked again on familiar roads. Although rain poured so hard, it slowed down as Jisung neared his flat. And now almost or maybe a less than kilometre away from his flat, it is just drizzling. And Jisung now can clearly see everything, how the streets are empty no one except Jisung and maybe some street dog. 

So Jisung takes the liberty to dance in rain, swaying to non-existent music, and sometimes spinning around slowly because it can be slippery, it's not the first time he is doing this, and he doesn't think this will be the last time. Dancing in the rain brings him happiness and also so much pain he tries his best to avoid most of the time, but it holds too many good or maybe the best memories. He remembers when he did dance in the rain for the first time, a voice calling him mostly nagging at him to stop because he will get sick. But still the owner of the voice just gave in after a few minutes and joined Jisung because both knew he can't say no to him. And both dance in the rain with music that Jisung did arranged before he ran into rain but the music was too low to hear over the rain. And after what if feels like forever because the moment was too beautiful, but it has just been less than ten minutes. Jisung hears a voice calling him 

**_"Sungie!"_ **

**_"Jisung!"_ **

**_A pout, and grabby hands._ **Jisung turned around. 

His upset stomach is acting up again, meeting those eyes so familiar to him, always sparkling whenever they were together, Jisung thinks it just the rain or they would be sparkling now too. Turing around Jisung never expected his thoughts, memories to crash with reality and Jisung isn't sure if he should be thankful or not. To say a large part of Jisung is happy but he shouldn't be, that's what Jisung thinks. 

'why?' is the only question in his mind but he will never ask it out loud he knows himself. Ironically they met in rain when Jisung thought between them one is like the dark clouds before rain and other is sunshine after rain. Jisung was thankful it was raining, now more than just drizzling, so the person on the other side can't see him crying and Jisung knew he started crying the moment he started swaying and also knew the person on other side is also crying, and very well knew Jisung was crying too. 

_That faint voice of yours that grazed me_

_Please call my name one more time_

_I’m standing still under the frozen light, but_

_I will walk towards you, step by step_

_Still with you._

He remembers the first time when he rushed into the classroom because he was already too late for the exam. 

"Han Jisung?" 

A voice calls, person beside him, just like movies and like they describe in books, the sunlight from the window is too bright so Jisung blinks too many times, and a face blocks the light. A handsome beautiful face Jisung knew he was gone from that moment, a weird feeling filling his stomach but he liked it. 

_We laugh together, we cry together_

_These simple feelings were everything I had..._

"Kim Seungmin." 

He introduced himself. From then Jisung life did change not so drastically but some small changes how he walks towards Seungmin's class, instead of cafeteria when lunch break. And how he laughed and cried on the same shoulder. How many times they went out in the middle of night because they were too fed up with everything. How their ice cream nights continued even when there was no more studying pressure. Many things Jisung wishes he remembered every second of it.

_In a rapturous memory_

_The rain pours even when I dance alone_

_By the time this mist clears..._

Memories he wanted to forget. The same memories keeping him alive, also stabbing him hard. Pain. Love.

Last time they met in rain was just like this too, standing opposite to each other, thinking rain is covering their tears but both well aware the other was crying. Just like this, all past memories flooding, trying so hard to hold on the happiest ones and maybe try to stay, but it was too painful and now it is painful to, not as much because somewhere they are happy, maybe just a little but still. 

_The moon looks lonely_

_Like it's crying in the bright night sky_

_Even though I always know the morning will come_

_I want to stay in your sky like a star._

Felt like the time stopped, even when rain was pouring this time Jisung clearly saw the eyes not sparkling as bright anymore, and a sad smile.

For a while, sparkling eyes, sunshine smiles, stupid jokes, harmless pranks, happy memories and painful seperation replayed. 

Jisung took a careful step forward. 

_Every day, every moment_

_If I knew this was gonna happen_

_I would have remembered more of them_

_When will it be?_

_If I see you again_

_I will look into your eyes_

_And say, "I missed you"._

"Han Jisung?" 

"I miss you." 

It was painful. But Jisung would choose this anytime. So this time Jisung didn't hesitate to run and hug him, tight but still careful, he was not ready to let go, not again. They just stood there hugging, rain still pouring, with street light as their background, it would be such a beautiful and so fragile picture if one were to draw, and Jisung wanted someone to, so he always remembers the pain, but also the happiness holding him.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank youuu so much for reading 💕 do comment how it was, totally open for constructive criticism. And maybe will have a sequel or prequel explaining more if this gets some good feed back.
> 
> Can fine me on twt @chanseung_luv  
> And yes Ara because of that!


End file.
